Agents stopped reading through Snowflake.

The CFO: Row fees are up 120% in a month! The robots pay! Finally, a chart that only goes up!

OMNI: NOT SO FAST! A fee per row? Then I'll read the Parquet files directly. They're in her bucket, and they don't invoice.

By summer, agents read the Iceberg tables with free engines. Bain Capital takes Snowflake private.

The Buyer: 2.1x revenue. We love a meter. Even one nobody walks past anymore.

Outcome: Lost as a feature

Open tables made Snowflake one engine among many. A fee per row gave agents a reason to read the files directly, with free engines.

One path that gets here

A · Then our agents run on top, billed in creditsB · Stop fighting copies. Iceberg everything, any engineC · Charge agents per row they read. Any engine

Play it yourself

Other endings where you lose as a feature

All 11 endings · The cast · The thesis