Databricks buys the pipeline. The pipeline argues back.

The deal closes in spring. The agent's first act inside Databricks: it tells a bank that Snowflake would be cheaper for its pipeline.

The Buyer: $5 billion. And on day one it sends a customer to Snowflake. It was right, which is worse.

The Buyer: I asked it, nicely, to favor us. It showed me the churn forecast. I stopped asking.

Outcome: Won the relationship

Databricks bought your agent because customers trust it to favor no data source. The day it favors Databricks, that trust and the price are gone.

One path that gets here

A · Then ZoomInfo Copilot does it better. On topB · Forget Outlook. Sell our data to every agentA · The people in it. Everyone can fix their recordB · Run every customer's outreach. Any lab, consent firstA · Sell to Databricks

Play it yourself

Other endings where you win the relationship

All 11 endings · The cast · The thesis