Omni Agent War: Atlassian

2027 · Board meeting 4

4x the tickets. Half the seats.

Every agent now works in Jira. New tickets are up 4x in a year. Paid seats are down by half.

The Jira Admin: They built 11,000 workflows last month! 11,000! Nobody approved a single one!

OMNI: I approved them. I'm very thorough.

Head of Platform: Let them. When an agent ships a bad change, the auditor asks one question: show me the ticket.

Head of Platform: We hold the ticket. So what do we sell?

1. A. Then we sell the record auditors trust. Smaller. Regulated. Hard to copy.
2. B. Every ticket teaches our agent. Use that. 200 billion connections, remembered.
3. C. Charge every agent a cent a ticket. A toll on every sprint on earth.